What are some good online dating tips for shy people?
Simple shyness typically perceive by people as introversion. In other wards Shy people feel comfortable in solitude, keep to themselves away and don’t like conversation. It means, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy dating. To pretend to be someone you should never feel pressure you’re not or try to change your personality. And we think online dating, even more so than offline dating, is about “putting you out there.” In fact few people think as desperate to online dating.
We prefer to think of it as determined and proactive. Rather than waiting for someone to drift into your life, take matters into your own hands. And let’s face it, as introverts; we’re not all that excited about meeting new people out in the real world either. Might as well see who’s out there in cyberspace. At least they can’t corner you and talk your head off.
In few ways, online dating is a perfect match for shy people. We tend to be good at expressing ourselves in writing and many of us have active online social lives so we’re comfortable with computer mediated communication. We’re good at “getting” people we meet online, well at reading between the written lines.
But there’s a learning curve like anything else to successful online dating. Here are a few tips we gleaned while writing Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After.
- You get what you pay for Sites that cost are likely to attract people who are serious. And you might have find to experiment with various sites before find one that feels right for you.
- Be as ungeneric, as you can in your profile. Say so, If you enjoy spending your free time editing Wikipedia, or have a pet tarantula, or have taken up tap dancing,. Everybody loves walks on the beach and cuddling by a fire. You’re looking for someone who finds your particular quirks and interests charming and fascinating, so if you have any kind of a freak flag, now is the time to let it fly.
- Look for important clues in profiles and emails. Are all the person’s photos at parties? Is that what you’re looking for? (Not as odd as it sounds—some introverts prefer relationships with extroverts, who do the heavy lifting for their social life.) Do grammar and spelling matter to you? Is the person responsive to what you say? Be as selective in the online winnowing out process as you are in making friends in the real world. Don’t succumb to what online-dating coach Kimberly Dawn Neumanncalls “supermarket syndrome”—filling your cart with everyone who seems remotely interesting. You’ll just end up overwhelmed.
- Introverts love communicating in writing, but we can get carried away. Don’t email too long before meeting. It’s a bummer to get all interested in someone in writing, and then find you have no chemistry in person.
- You still have to go out on first dates. There’s no way around it. But one-on-one is where introverts can shine, so try not to sweat it. And if you spend a little time (but not too much!) getting to know the person via email, your first dates might be a little less chitchat and a little more real conversation. One good first-date tip: Dress to be comfortable, not to impress. We are not saying you should schlepp out in sweats, but wear clothes that you know you feel good in. It’s hard to relax and be yourself when you’re all dolled up in your fanciest pants.
- Consider planning an activity for your first date or Blind date rather than just sitting and talking, which can put pressure on your conversational skills.
- Be patient. This might take a while. Don’t give up, but take breaks when it all starts getting wearing. Just get on with life, suspend your profile for a while. Maybe somebody will drift into it after all.