Tips & Tricks
Finding the right feeling when writing to someone you're interested in, how to create the best profile or where certain limits really go when you're dating online is not always so obvious.
Therefore, we have listed the nine main points that will give you a good start in the field of online dating.
1 Make sure to have a complete profile
The very first thing most do that have recieved a message, is to examine the sender. If your profile description only is half finished, it signals a lack of commitment. If it contains "incoherent rhetoric" and generality or if it's missing photos, chances are that you will never get any response.
Dare to be a little personal! By expressing your personal preferences, it will both benefit you and arouse interest in others.
Regarding the profile picture, we understand that many people are tempted to try to make the picture look above amazing. But if the photo requires hundreds of attempts, and as many edits, the photo would'nt show anything close to your true self. Online dating is not about painting the perfect picture of yourself. On the contrary, it is about generating long-term relationships, where you initially have shown your true colors, which you can then live up to in a natural way.
And remember to think of something positive when you take the picture, a smile or a positive indication is the most attractive feature there is.
2 Choose a interesting topic
It's not about writing the perfect first message, rather something personal and expressive. Be aware of anything in the persons profile that might help. Perhaps the person has a favorite movie, a favorite artist or a special interest that you can initiate a first conversation about. You will get the best possible start by paying attention to anything personal about the person you are talking to.
Before you click "send", it is a good rule to first read the message from the recipient perspective. Ask yourself the question of your message, with you as the recipient - would the feeling when reading the message be interesting enough for you yourself to continue the conversation outside?
If the answer is yes, just press "send".
3 Be inquisitive - but only to some extent
If you want to quickly create a conversation, the easiest way is to be curious and interested. So, ask questions. Ask about the persons interests, work or why not about any detail you've noticed on the persons profile.
Open questions = good questions. Open questions often give more interesting answers and a more flowing dialogue. Do not forget to hear the person out completely and understand the dialog before you respond, and to follow the questioning, when the dialogue has begun to have a natural flow to it.
4 What made you make contact?
Most people would probably not admit it, but many do more or less love to talk and read about themselves. There is no exception in online dating.
Instead of initiating the first dialogue by describing yourself and your interests, tell us what seemed appealing and caused you to make contact with the person. Maybe it was a common interest, an exciting journey that the person had done or that the person seems to be an interesting individual that you would like to know more about.
5 Addressing the first name
Just as we like to expose ourselves, research suggests that we like to hear our own names in the dialogues. So use this to your advantage and start the message with "Hello Name" rather than with just a "Hello". Try it, it makes a difference!
6 Everything in moderation
At least at first. A good first message is pleasant and relatively short at around 100 words. Just long enough for e.g. a compliment, why you fell for the person, what you seem to have in common and finally a question to take the conversation further.
Flirt moderate. If you go in to hard with flirting, the risk is high that the conversation between you two will be a short-lived and history. Focus on a natural dialogue, where you exchange views and find common conclusions.
7 Choose the right time for the mail
What time you click away your message can actually come to mean more than you think. This applies to the first contact first and foremost, when you hav'nt had time to get to know each other yet.
If you have described yourself as a workaholic who loves your work, it can, for example, send out the wrong signals if you send away your message 10:30 am, then you may be perceived as immoral in your professional role. Or if you're a social person who is often invited out on various gatherings, you may be perceived as arrogant and dishonest if it becomes a habit that you only make contact 9 PM on a Saturday night saying that you have nothing to do.
At the earliest stages of contact with a person, it might be a good idea to keep to the times that are neutral for most. Not to attract attention. And above all it is important that your initial contact times are in line with the pulse you really live in. If your ways and your lifestyle match the impression you initially gave can only be confirmed at a later stage, when you two realy get to know eachother for who you are and appreciate each other for.
8 Contact them actually interests you
It is easy to spontaneously make contact with lots of other members, usually because of an attractive profile picture. It is, after all, usually the appearance we first get to see. But give this a thought!
Take the time and read the persons profile. Is the person realy interesting? Or was it just the looks that came to appeal to you? Just make contact with the members that you actually want to get to know beyond the looks.
This will ultimately make it easier for you to talk to potential personal contacts in a natural way and to arouse their interest. In the meantime, you prioritize your time to meaningful attempts of making contact.
9 Be yourself
It may sound cliché, but always be yourself! No matter how you twist or turn everything, it is only the true you that will eventually hit the jackpot in making contact, and in a longer perspective, true love. In the long run, your unique personality and natural ways is what will create meaningful results.
Relax and do not try to be someone else. All fake attitudes will eventually shine through in the end, or most likely immediately. Keep your natural tone in real as in messages, and just simply be yourself. By doing this, you will get a lot back. And if you strive for mutual interests, it in turn will lead to a genuine relationship.
So dare to open up with an open mind, and enjoy the mutuality that you try along the way until you individually find the right one. Good luck!