How to break-up with your partner
There’s no denying the fact that breaking up with a partner is disheartening. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have failed. A better way to look at it is that, when any relationship has more negative-s than positive-s, both the people deserve better than that. There’s no one way to breakup with someone you have been in love with.
However, these tips which will make it relatively easier.
- Be Honest
According to psychologists, openness and a positive tone can go a long way in reducing the bitterness from a break-up. Honesty is by far one of the most compassionate ways to put one’s thoughts across, and is very effective when breaking up. Telling your partner that you didn’t regret your time together and clearly conveying to them, the reasons for wanting to break up are always the more empathetic ways to put your message across. Try and convince your partner that the break-up is for the better for both of you.
- Practice and rehearse
Try and be prepared before the D-day. Experts suggest that you think through the decision to break-up and be convinced yourself that this is what you want. Try to imagine how your partner will react to the decision. Will he/she be sad or surprised? Will they get mad at you or will be too hurt to react. Remember, that you are the best person to judge their reactions, because you have been in a relationship with them and should know them. Trying to judge a reaction will help you prepare. And prepare you must. Say it out to yourself first. How would you want a news like that to be broken to you? Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and decide.
- Leave on a Good Note
Every single thing we say or do in our lives every day, adds up to the human being we are at the end of the day. Similarly, when you break up with your partner, let that also be something which you can reflect upon later in life with a smile, and not with regret. And that will only be possible when you try to part on a good note. Try to see the good your relationship did to you, and show that to your partner also. Studies show that blame-games by dragging or being dragged into conflict and negativity only leaves a bad taste.
- Don’t just ‘disappear’.
We all try to avoid confrontation till the time we can. And breaking up with your partner is one situation we always try to avoid. Couples end up being in love-less relationships just for the fear of breaking up. Some others just go AWOL (Absence Without Leave). While the former is not desirable, the latter is deadlier. Dating one day, and vanishing the next with the idea that your partner will ‘get the idea’ is a terrible thing to do. An interesting study reveals that men are more likely to ghost women, because of the simple reason that they find it difficult to face emotions. Their first instincts is to avoid emotion altogether. While it may seem easier, it increases anxiety, doesn’t give closure to either of the two people. No matter how brief a conversation has to be, talk and get done with it. Don’t disappear on one another.
- Don’t Manipulate
A lot of times men and women have been seen to instigate the other to break up. This is not only unfair, but also shows your own insecurity and immaturity to deal with a situation. There’s no winning a break-up. Remember that both of you are losing something you once cared about. The least you could do is do that with self-respect and with respect for one another. Don’t manipulate the situation. Don’t try to share the news with other people knowing that he/she will eventually come to know of it and that will save you the confrontation.
Final thoughts
People grow apart for several reasons. It may be because your interests, ideologies and feelings aren’t as well matched as earlier. Or maybe you have changed your mind or feelings about the other person. Or you don’t enjoy being together anymore. Whatever the reason, there’s always a better way of breaking up without breaking apart.
